- ALTERNATIVE FEELINGS
“Many alternative-feelings are possible for any situation. There are many ways to feel because a particular way of thinking will .generate a feeling of some kind. This comes as a .shock to many people. They think that a feeling that surges into mind toward a situation is final and unalterable. Students sometimes, in spite of the self-evident nature of this truth, find this difficult to believe on a functional basis. They hunt for exceptions - how about death, having an accident, losing a job, being caught by traffic delays or discourtesies.
A student body is a wonderful thing and they answer these questions in short order. What is so new about alternative points of view? Each point of view represents a package of facts or ideas and the packages are endless in number. The; principle of alternative- feelings, however, is drastically new to many people. They think there is only one way to feel, - the way that accidentally pops into the mind in any situation. Stark tragedy hides behind this belief, because free thinking is thereby shut off. Here are some of the startling statements of students after studying the psychology of feelings.
“1 did not know I could find satisfaction in my home”.
"I know now that a person does not have to feel shy."
“I didn’t know it was possible to get along with so many people by analyzing the mutual satisfactions that exists
"1 have learned to change my feelings”
“1 was just a bundle of nerves until I learned there are alternative-feelings."
"I have gained control over my temper”
“The most important thing I have learned is that there are alternative-feelings."
"I have found out that people are more helpful than I thought”.
"I have learned to control myself when things do not go just right in my work”.
“There are many ways to feel toward a situation, and we can focus our minds in several directions.
"I took my health and good fortunes for granted until I studied the alternative ways l could feel."
These comments came in response to the question. “What beliefs about human nature have you changed as a result of your study of psychology”. Approximately half of the individuals stated they had not previously known that feelings were subject to voluntary direction. Being broadminded is half of the battle because then you can see what is best to do rather than act on blind impulse. To follow a blind unreasoned feeling is almost sure to bring trouble. Let us consider further the comments of students in response to the assignment:
Name situations and ways you could feel, together with reasons why.
How could I feel about graduating?
Happy - to get through.
Fearfully - about the future
Gratefully - to have made it.
Sorrowfully - to be leaving It.
Each point of view brings out a little different vital relationship. Thinking is like taking a trip. You pack your mental suitcase with various ideas. Then you have to live with your" choices until you change the pack. Some people don’t know that it is necessary to package their ideas if enjoyment or ability is to be sought intelligently.
How could I feel about waiting for a bus?
Angry - because the bus is late.
Blameful - at driver for delay.
Sympathetic - driver has problems.
Humorus - At reaction of other people
Grateful - I do not have to walk.
How can I feel about repetitive routines?
Bored – monotonous, too routine"
Grateful - time saved by standard practice.
Bitter - that I am the one to do it.
Satisfaction - that I have the skill to do it.
Patient - knowing the results it brings.
Evaluative interpretations are mental appraisals of what things and people are worth to us. Ideas generate feelings. The world has millions of specifications and we can think of only a few of them at one time. Do you pack your mind with annoying specifications or do you study the alternative ways you can feel?
How can I feel toward viewing a wrestling match?
Critical – because wrestlers appear inconsiderate.
Jealous - because I lack such brute strength.
Sympathetic - each is trying to win.
Angry - because of unfairness of holds.
Fearful - somebody may get hurt.
Grateful - that I don't have to endure such pain.
Humorous - because of showmanship and antics.
Each individual tends to set up a chain-system-of -ideas in their thinking. The worrier follows worry-ideas. The shy person follows inferiority ideas. The fickle person follows sensational evaluations. Ideas yield feelings because it is almost impossible to eliminate caste evaluations from any collection of ideas. There is almost always a direct or implied reference to satisfaction or annoyance, definition of use or imperfection, perfection or social comparison of better or worseness, or some group conflict or mutual helpfulness. Democratic minded people reject the caste-system as a way of life. Democratic mindsets reject single-valued clans of ideas. There are many ways to feel toward any situation. To live with mental eyes which can see .only one class of value-ideas is to be a slave to one feeling. Ideas generate feelings because something or someone is usually considered in good or bad light. The anger habit arises from considering how things and people violate our rights and sentiments. The concept of alternative-feelings enables us to see through caste-systems of ideas and we are freed from the enslavement of one feeling toward a situation.
How can I feel toward home life?
Bitter - because our standard of living is not better
Grateful – That we have as much as we do
Antagonistic – people get into each others way.
Interested - in common interests and objectives.
Sympathetic- existence of mutual problems.
Respectful - mutual helpfulness .and dependency
Happy - because of the needs' filled and services provided
There are hundreds of ways we can feel toward our home situation. Any one way of feeling is dangerous. We cannot remain, satisfaction-minded or happy for very long if we are blind to annoyances, By living with and facing annoyance, we renew our appreciations and faith. All pleasure, in fact would soon become dull and monotonous. Alternative feelings not only free us from caste-systems of value ideas but also give us support for continued enjoyment and good wil1 toward people. The person who condemns his home and feels bitter toward his family needs this caste-system-of -ideas with the constant delays, annoyance, and interferences which occur in daily life. He/she' does not want to be unhappy or to lack conversational ability, but does not know how to consider alternative-systems-of-ideas, which would yield different .feelings.
How can I feel toward my work.
Friendly- to meet people and share experiences.
Satisfied – in making a useful product or service.
Bored - Because of repetitive tasks.
Angry - Because I have to have to put up with inefficiencies.
Resentful – that time is not my own or I have to take orders.
Pleased – Because of what I can buy with my salary.
Antagonism - because prices are high.
Opportunistic - because I can learn.
Grateful - that 1 have the skill or knowledge.
Any system of ideas defines directly or indirectly a way to feel. You can feel different ways about your work regardless of its temporary or permanent nature. It is a question of whether you belong to the annoyance caste or the satisfaction seekers. Annoyance seekers can always find ways about which you can feel bored or bitter. A caste system of ideas tends to be self-sufficient and to be prove itself. Alternative feelings or substitute ideas must be considered before a single channel or feeling can be changed.
How can I fee1toward people?
Inferior - my abilities are not the best.
Friendly - because people have many interests in common.
Anger - because people cause each other trouble
Kindly – people do not know when they cause trouble.
Grateful - because people help each other through skills, knowledge, shared feelings, science, etc.
Sympathetic - because .people believe what they do is best and they do not intend to be unkind;
Antagonistic – people learn when they get hurt, and for and their own good should hurt them. '
Cooperative - because I have the same kind of' problems and other objectives that others have helped.
Service Minded – One of the strongest forms of enjoyment is to help without thought of reward
Any system of ideas of good or bad generate feelings of satisfaction or annoyance. There are many ways to feel toward any situation. There are hundreds of ways to organize the specifications of how things and people useful and helpful, or how they are bothersome and imperfect. If we want to feel good and have interest in our abilities we have to analyze dominantly how things and people are useful and helpful. If we classify things solely in terms of their uselessness and annoyances, we reduce our enjoyment and ability. We become bored, ill-at-ease, bitter, antagonistic or discouraged.
How can I feel toward illness?
Fear – Of what might happen
Humorous – How things become unimportant in face of Illness
Gratefulness – That my condition is not worse\
Thankfulness - For conditions and care available
Relaxed – An opportunity for rest
Anger – That I am confined
Sympathy – For people worse off than me
Self Pity –Dwelling on how bad off I am
Hopeful – Planning my future
Envy – Other people are not ill
Friendly – For people who make this facility possible, provide the care and treatment for me
The way we feel is an accident when we do not think of the way we want to feel. The concept of alternative feelings must intervene if we are to make choices of patterns of ideas in terms of desirable feelings and abilities. People are slaves to feelings and emotions until the function of choice is thoroughly understood. The notion of choice must accompany the situation if idea feeling patterns are to be selected intelligently. There are many ways we can feel toward people, but if such alternatives are not known there is little choice but to be insulted in an insulting situation – real or imaginary. There is no choice when there is no knowledge of alternatives. Judgment, ability, and enjoyment, then, depend upon the blind feelings and motives which are suggested by the environment in terms of specific habitual meanings. On the other hand, when the concept of alternative-feelings is used, productive' feelings can be chosen and destructive feelings disqualified. A rational adjustment takes place when the individual can apply the principle of a1ternative feelings to minor feelings before they get out of control. By realizing the consequences of attitudes upon .enjoyment and ability, as well as the alternative feelings' which could be held, emotional maturity develops. Emotional maturity means merely to be able to reason about attitudes and how to control them to ones advantage”
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